I feel like I have climbed a mountain...
a
ReALLy
REALLY
BIG
ONE

of

acceptance!

It has taken months I won't lie.
I have gone though emotions I didn't know I was capable of feeling
I was angry.
Angry at God for not letting Kris and I have our own family
Angry at my friends who were able to have new little babies
I felt sorry for myself..
blah...
I felt like I was maybe not worthy of a baby of my own and tried to figure out what I needed to fix...
I cried...
I got mad...
I cried...

then

acceptance.

peace.

I think I have reached it.
at least for now.
I am told the feelings will come and go
just like like the rain.
but...
I finally feel peace
and I can't tell you how welcoming that is.

I know my Savior loves me
I know I must always be grateful for what I have
I must not dwell on what I don't

because of this...
I am once again myself.
I am happy and I feel like after years of a long battle
I am rested and whole again!
at lease for now....